he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize