If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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