I think I am morally bankrupt
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it glows. i had to have it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
