She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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