What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
