I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im holly from the hills drunk
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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