I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
