"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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