just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
No more Irish car bombs ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
