where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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