did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
