He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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