I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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