ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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