Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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