I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
