She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
