As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We need to rekindle our bromance
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
