My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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