I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
