I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
