I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Congratulations! We have a period
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
