Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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