dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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