How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
