my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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