Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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