They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
