He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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