i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
