i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize