I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
