Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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