Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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