he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
