did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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