So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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