lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
