she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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