and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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