Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
