I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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