"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
