just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
