That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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