who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
