Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
