I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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