You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
