So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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