my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do vagina's smell?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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