Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I looked at my own cervix.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
