We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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