wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
